ewok_626 (ewok_626) wrote,
ewok_626
ewok_626

LJ Idol: Week 6

TOPIC: URBAN LEGENDS

How scary would it be to read the front page of the paper and see this headline:

"CROCODILE EATS GOLFER"

Oh, yes. Most of you are thinking "Oh geez, shut up! No crocodile is going to eat a golfer."

That's what I thought until I saw the picture. (Warning: picture is a little disturbing) Ole Mose unzipped The guy went golfing with three friends. Getting impatient his opponents, he apparently went to the last hole to wait for the slow pokes/bad golfers. When the friends went to find him, all they found was his clubs. No spiked shoes, plaid trousers, or pink polo shirt to be found.

Now think about it for a moment. Just how does one get eaten by a crocodile?! Does he come up behind you and tap on your shoulder before devouring you head first? Did the croc eat his golf ball, so the guy went Happy Gilmore on his ass? Did the country club owner crack him upside the head with a club and feed him to the croc because he didn't pay his membership dues? How does this happen?!

My next question. What if this guy has a family? "Ma'am, I'm sorry to say that your husband was eaten by a crocodile today at the country club. Here are the contents of his locker." And the kids at school on career day? "My daddy couldn't come today because he was eaten by a crocodile when I was 4. But my mommy's here."

And the poor guys that he was golfing with. "Hi, hubby. How was your day?" "Okay, I guess. Jake got eaten buy a crocodile, but I shot a bogey." I could only imagine the look on wifey's face...

Just how does a country club not realize that a 15-foot crocodile is living in one of the water boundaries? "Oh Bubba, that's just another tree that fell. Don't you worry yourself none." Didn't anyone notice that there weren't any birds, squirrels, or deer in the area?

If the croc ate one man, how did they catch him? Did he not go back into the water for an hour because he had just eaten? Or was it because the extra 175 pounds in his belly were slowing his walk? Maybe a few dozen tranquilizer darts?

One last thought: what did they do with the bodies? A 300+ pound crocodile and a partially digested man. There's no saving a chewed-up man, but what about the croc? Heh, maybe that's where those "Croc" shoes come from!

Oh, if Steve Irwin were alive... "Blimey, that croc was really aggressive. All that red blood just oozing out of his teeth like he just ate a man. Let's play with the little buggar. He won't hurt us!"


~~~
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