BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP
Damn alarm clock disturbing dreams of Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.
Wait, why the hell is the alarm set for 6am on a HOLIDAY?!
Oh, right. That damn resolution. That "lose 30 pounds in a year and keep it off" resolution. Roll out of bed and start doing sit-ups.
Ooooh, there are Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls in the vending machine.
Wait, dammit. You're supposed to be losing weight. Eat that celery that you have in the office fridge, instead.
After a long, lingering look at the little package, the fridge is opened and the celery consumed. Still a craving for the chocolate cake rolls.
Co-worker brings in leftover Christmas cookies and offers them around. Even though they should be left for someone else, a star-shaped sugar cookie somehow made it onto the desk. It stares at you for about five minutes before it is attacked.
Much guilt after the last bite is swallowed.
Vow to make sure to exercise twice as much tomorrow morning.
Exercising has been changed to before bed so that the dreams of Brad Pitt can return. Logically there is more energy to burn after eating, right? Burning more energy = burning more calories. So that little piece of cheesecake I had for lunch instead of the grilled chicken breast totally is okay.
Too drunk from the party to even think about exercising. Meh, leave it till tomorrow. It won't hurt.
Step on scale. Am very distressed to see that instead of losing my goal of eight pounds, I gained two. WTF?! I WAS EXERCISING!!! EATING RIGHT!!!
Oh, right. The alcohol. The extra helping of food at dinner those few nights. The snack food between meals. Gotta cut that out.
Back to the grind. Up at 6am to exercise. Salad for lunch. Simple dinner with smaller portions. No dessert. Lots of fruit and veggies. Vow to not go out to eat and instead cook and eat healthy meals at dinnertime.
Back to snacking between meals. Fun-sized candy bars and small bags of chips. Drinking diet soda to make self feel better.
Forgot to get on the scale. Still exercising, but not as many reps on account of sleeping in an extra half hour. Wishing that instead of driving kids to soccer practice, you could join a gym. Go out to dinner as a monthly reward for being "good."
Diet soda has been switched to regular. Start to notice that the favorite jeans are getting a bit tight. Chalk it up to the husband shrinking the jeans the last time he did laundry because he can't do it right. Change into a more comfortable pair of pants and head off to work. Have not exercised for the last 15 days.
Get a comment from the husband about looking a little pudgy. Begin to cry to make him feel guilty about saying anything. Go to the gym and get a membership to make husband think you care about your body. Go once and promptly lose the membership card.
Cannot get any more pants to fit, even with the "suck it in" and "lay on the bed to button" trick. Change into a loose-fitting dress and borrow husband's credit card. Head off to the mall. Stop for a large Starbucks "Strawberries and Creme" smoothie and Rice Krispie Treat for mid-morning snack. Try clothes on in the dressing room, making sure they fit. Refuse to look at the sizes because it will only be depressing and force more snacking. Avoid looking at the scale when you get home. Ask husband to go out for dinner so that you can wear the new outfit that you bought.
Your birthday! Enjoy that second piece of cake! And the all-you-can-eat buffet dinner. The pants button is undone to make room for that extra brownie. After four glasses of wine, the warm drunken feeling masks the overeating. And the gift cards for the mall will do well for another shopping trip for more (and bigger) clothes.
Day 365: New Year's Eve.
Husband asks you how you've done with last year's resolution. Deny making a resolution last year. After claiming to go have to go to the restroom, sneak on the scale. Remember that last year's number was 178. Step on scale. See number whiz up pass 200. Almost pass out when number rests on 209. 31 pounds?! A GAIN OF 31 POUNDS?! WTF?! Vow to lose that 30 pounds again. Also vow not to tell husband about the resolution so that he can't say anything about it. Set alarm for 6am and start planning out healthy meals. DAMMIT, I WILL LOSE THESE LOVE HANDLES IN 2009!!!
This is my entry for therealljidol . I do hope that you enjoyed my take on the topic "Resolute." Voting starts tomorrow around noon. I'll post necessary linkage as soon as I can. Love you all!